5 warning signs to watch for when meeting someone online: protecting yourself from romance fraudsters

Losses to romance fraudsters in the UK topped £94.7 million, with an average of £10,774 stolen from victims by ruthless criminals. With Valentine’s Day a celebration of love for many, for fraudsters it’s the perfect opportunity to take advantage of someone’s trust and their bank accounts. Following the success of her previous blog, we’re delighted to welcome back Anna Rowe, co-founder of fraud centre and think tank LoveSaid, to help people recognise the red flags…

In an increasingly digital world, meeting people online has become a common way to form connections. However, it also opens doors for romance fraudsters who manipulate emotions and exploit victims financially. While building trust and relationships can be fulfilling, it’s crucial to spot the signs of a potential fraud. Here are five key warning signs to protect yourself:

1. They push to move off the platform quickly

Fraudsters will often try to get you off the platform where you were initially connected, such as a dating site or social media app, and onto an encrypted chat app like WhatsApp, Telegram, or Zangi. Why? These apps are encrypted, making their activities less detectable, and gives them your email or phone number so as not to lose the connection. If someone seems overly eager to transition your conversation elsewhere, take a moment to reflect on why they might be doing this. Always question the need for secrecy or urgency.

2. They are working abroad or about to travel for business

A hallmark of romance fraudsters is their elaborate and ‘sad’ backstories. Many will claim to be working abroad or about to leave for business in an overseas location. This narrative creates the perfect excuse to avoid meeting in-person but to set up future scenarios where they can ask for financial assistance. Be cautious of professions or situations that conveniently keep them physically distant, as these stories are often carefully crafted to disarm suspicion.

3. They have trusted or lucrative professions

Certain job titles and positions are frequently used by romance fraudsters to establish credibility and status. Common examples include:

• Military personnel, doctors, or pilots (often claiming affiliation with the UN or other international organisations)
• Contractors in offshore working in industries like oil rigs, oil and petroleum, or construction
• Entrepreneurs or luxury goods dealers, such as traders in precious metals or gems

These professions lend an air of authority, trustworthiness, and wealth, but they also serve to explain their inaccessibility or need for financial help when things go wrong. Always be sceptical of individuals in these roles if other red flags accompany their story.

4. They build trust through months of manipulation

Romance fraud isn’t a ‘quick con’, it’s often a long game. These criminals will spend months building trust, often creating elaborate set ups to reinforce their authenticity. One common tactic is providing victims with access to a bank account complete with login credentials, where they can view (and even transfer) money. While this seems like proof of financial stability, it’s a clever ruse.

At a critical point, the fraudster will claim that the account has been frozen because of suspicious activity, often conveniently linked to the victim’s login attempt. This becomes the foundation for asking for financial help to accommodate needed funds.

These manipulations are gradual but highly calculated, leaving victims emotionally entangled and vulnerable.

5. There’s an intensity to the relationship

Healthy relationships take time to grow, but romance fraudsters use the same tactics as abusers in toxic relationships. They overwhelm their victims with intense affection, creating a soulmate connection through tactics like:

• Grooming and love bombing: showering with excessive compliments, attention, and promises of a perfect future together
• Trauma bonding: creating a fear of loss alongside sharing personal or emotional stories to create a deep emotional connection
• Coercive and controlling behaviours: subtly manipulating their victim’s emotions and decisions including being fearful of what will happen if they don’t comply.

This intensity mirrors the dynamics of abusive relationships, as supported by academic research linking romance fraud to domestic abuse. The fraudster’s goal is to emotionally entangle their victim, making it harder for them to recognise the warning signs or break away.

How you can stay safe online

1. Take your time: don’t let anyone rush you into a relationship or financial decision
2. Verify their identity: use reverse image searches on profile pictures and check their story for inconsistencies or highlighted scenarios
3. Keep communication on the platform: staying on the original platform can provide added security
4. Avoid sending money: Never send funds to someone you’ve met online. No genuine individual will be urging you to make these decisions
5. Talk to someone you trust: Sharing your concerns with a friend or family member can help you spot red flags you may have overlooked

Romance fraud is a painful reality for many, but recognising the tactics used by these criminals is the first step toward prevention. Trust your instincts and prioritise your safety when forming online connections. Remember: real love doesn’t come with fear, ultimatums or financial requests.

Find out about the work of LoveSaid and how it helps victims of romance fraud, here.

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How Cifas solutions can help organisations protect people from romance fraud

• APP Victim Check provides banks with victim data to identify high risk payments that need to be paused and investigated (i.e. possible romance fraud) – helping to protect customers from revictimisation.
• Beneficiary Checks provides fraud teams with a secure communication channel to connect and verify concerns around possible fraudulent transactions.
• Vision helps organisations to manage customer risk and changes in their behaviour, in real-time.
• Apollo is Cifas’ immersive digital learning programme that provides education around romance fraud. Request a demo today.